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Lessons from the Softball Field

It’s been a few years but I am finally back to sitting on the sidelines watching my daughter play sports. Between my work, my school, my husband’s work and my daughter’s broken leg, we really haven’t been able to devote much time to sports. Now that our schedules are lighter and my daughter’s leg is completely healed, she is back out on the field.

I must say I missed seeing her have fun and learn how to work as part of a team. In addition, participating in sports allows my daughter to understand the importance of time management.  This is especially true in figuring out how to balance homework, practices and games!  She has also extended her circle of friends since she was able to play on an older team.  This is due to her date of birth relative to the cut-off for the specific age brackets. Not to mention, the exercise is good for her too!  Talk about the amount of transferable life lessons.

As I sit on the sidelines, I can truly say I am in awe. My daughter had not played in years and yet she put herself out there.  Softball was something she has always wanted to play and to start on an older team is tough.  She doesn’t remember much from her earlier team-sport experiences.  Plus, it was t-ball and nobody won or lost.  The age bracket she is currently on is child pitched and scores are kept.  Some of these kids have one heck of a pitch too!  But despite the newness of all of this, she shows up and she tries hard to learn what she can from the coaches and the other players.

After most games, the teams have a relay race around the bases.  It is a great way to end the game with everyone rooting each other on and getting out any remaining energy.  One day I sat there and cheered my daughter around the bases, I could see she was running her heart out.  She was towards the end of the lineup and her team had a slight lead over the visiting team.  As she rounded third heading home to tag the next runner, it happened.  In the blink of an eye, my daughter went from full sprint to a dead stop.  Her cleat got caught in a rut and she went down hard.  Face first with barely enough time to put up her hands.  The crowd went from loudly cheering to dead silence.  It was that kind of fall.

I fully expected her to lay on the ground crying and for her team to ultimately lose the relay.  But that is not at all what happened.  Instead, my daughter got right up and finished her leg of the relay.  At that point, you could tell she was holding back the tears and biting her bottom lip as the coach was assessing her for any injuries.   She ultimately did cry after all was said and done.  Despite the pain and some minor scrapes, there were no serious injuries from the fall.   Her team won the game that day but also the relay race.


How many times has this happened to you?  Not literally falling flat on your face, but figuratively.  Honestly there is such a profound lesson in this.  My daughter knew that she had people depending on her and that she needed to do her part and finish.  Despite the pain, she pushed through for her team when it would have been much easier just to stay down and cry.

Sometimes in family or work it is not about us.  Despite everything else, we must push through the pain, heart ache, difficulties and get to the finish line.  Whatever that may be- this is different for everyone.  Knowing that someone is depending on us, gives us a greater meaning and added responsibility.  This could be a child, a parent, a co-worker, a boss, a customer, etc.  I may pause to shed a tear or to eat a pint of ice cream but ultimately, I know that I too must push through because people are depending on me.  Whether we stumble with our children or loved ones or in our career, pushing through some of the difficult stuff will always make us a better person on the other end.

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All For Not?

Did you ever wake up and think to yourself: When I leave my child to go to work, do the lessons I try to teach them and show them get through?  I often think about this very subject during many early mornings.  I know that my older son is certainly on the right track but I was home a lot more with him as he was growing up.  My daughter is much younger and has seen me work away from the home through out most of her life.  This includes long hours, plentiful work trips, and an MBA to boot.  She is growing up in a completely different generation from her brother.  She actually makes him feel old!

Life Goals

Realistically, we all know that time is limited with all things- even people.  It is a precious commodity that once is gone, you cannot get back.  Sometimes, before getting out of bed, I lie there hoping that I have instilled important life lessons to both of my kids.  Especially my youngest who is still in her formative years.   The other week, I had a business trip and I didn’t see her for almost 24 hours.  Come to think of it, I didn’t even have time to talk to her.  It was a few days later when I was contemplating work and family that I come across proof that somehow, in some way she hears me.  My daughter is listening- even when she looks like she’s tuned me out.

I found her Boogie Board that she occasionally uses for notes and drawing when paper is not convenient or easily found.   These are great on trips or in the car.  It is essentially an electric piece of paper that erases with the touch of a button.  What I read on that that board, honestly makes it all worth it and reinforces the path I am on.  Ella had divided the board into two categories:  Weekly Goals and Key.

Ella’s Weekly Goals:

  • Eat Healthy
  • Exercise More
  • Make Better Decisions

Ella’s Key:

  • Be Happy
  • Be Responsible
  • Be Kind

Inspire

What else is there to write?  She sums it up nicely.  Not only does she share how to become a better person, but also what it takes to get there.  This little late night writing means the world to me.  As working Moms, sometimes we are our own worst enemy when it comes to wondering if we are doing the right thing by our kids.  Think about it.  Every morning we bring our kids to school or to daycare and we entrust them to others for over eight hours a day! By the time we Moms get home, its supper and bedtime.  Have we done enough to instill anything of ourselves into our kids?

Heck Yes!!

It is time that we start deleting these negative comments in our head.  Kids are sponges in the way they absorb everything around them.  They see the way we handle ourselves through various situations, how we treat people we interact with, and they benefit from this exposure.  They also benefit from those they are around while we are at work.  Whether, they are at school, daycare or with a trusted family member or friend.  The saying is true: it does take a village- the right village.  I am so glad that my daughter is exposed to different people and experiences.  She understands compassion and empathy, fortitude, gratitude, and possesses an openness to new experiences, people, and adventures.

The next time thoughts come into your head about working and not being there every minute with your children, delete it.  Do not give those thoughts credence.  Instead concentrate on all of the great opportunities your are exposing to your children.  Yes, time goes by quickly so we have to make the most of what we have with them and trust that our children gain so much from us- even when we are not looking.

Now go ahead and do as Ella says and “Be Happy”.

 

 


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Finding Your Balance

The Balance of Work-life & Home-life

Sometimes in life, you may suddenly realize a whirlwind around you.  Everything is happening so fast you are feeling out of control.  You are spinning on the wheel of life and the spinner is starting to go faster than you can keep up.  Sooner or later, one of two things will happen.  You will either keep pace with the wheel or the wheel will oust you.  Most likely, it will be the latter.  It’s not for a lack of trying but in all honestly, life nowadays happens at the speed of light.  Whether we are talking work-life, home-life or both, it’s coming fast and furious.

Has this ever happened to you?  It certainly has happened to me.  I spent a lot of time running to work, running home, running here and running there.  So much so that I can honestly say, I felt such intense pressure and disappointment.   I mean, is this it? Is this what I have been working so hard to accomplish?  What was I thinking!  My work-life out-balanced my home-life significantly.  Commuting time, early meetings, late meetings, and travel.  This delicate balance between work-life and home-life was thrown off and homeostasis was nowhere to be found.  I would run home every night, cook a late supper, clean up, put my daughter to bed and then sit catatonic on the couch.  I would have offers of help but I wanted to somehow feel as though i was contributing to the household.

My Why

While I was sitting there attempting to be part of the family, my mind would race far away.  What did I forget?  What do I have to prepare for tomorrow?  What disaster am I walking into tomorrow? Consumed.  Catatonic.  Cathartic.  Just a few words that come to mind.  This was not sustainable for anyone- especially me.

Finally, a break came whether I liked it or not, whether I agreed with it or not.  Perhaps, it was the best thing for me.  Overtime, I have realized that I needed to re-evaluate my goal and my purpose.  I need to understand that I have a self-worth and I must be able to maintain a better balance.  I have to do it for me and for my family.  Yes, there are busy seasons of work and of home, but overall these two parts of us working Moms (and Dads) need to be able to come together for the benefit of all- including ourselves.  Recognizing this is the first step- perhaps the most important step.

I wanted to write my blog as a journey through this process and share with you what I have learned and what I continue to learn on a daily basis.  Please join me.

Welcome to my Guide!

 

 

 

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