Category: Life Lessons

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A Working Mom's Guide Paying Off Student Debt

My Student Loan Debt: Part II

This is a continuation of my student loan debt story. You can read Part I here: My Student Loan Debt: Part I.

Graduation

When I entered the workforce after receiving my Bachelor’ degree, my student loans were on a hiatus as I waited for them to be dispersed. Meaning, the final dollar value owed is calculated. Additionally, there is a small waiting period upon graduation. Here, the loan companies graciously allow you to find employment to pay for the loans as they finalize your payment options.

I was only able to get a part time position for the first few months. So once the payments were due, I had to put them in forbearance. This is where you basically tell the loan company that you do not have enough money to pay.  The interest, however, still accrues.  But with a part-time job, I just didn’t have the money to pay.

When my position was finally changed to a full time position, I thought that I could finally start paying down this debt. I soon realized that my base pay was not much more than I made as a waitress. Then, after taxes and such, it was even less. There was definite disparity between my wage and the cost of my education.

The Plan to Increase My Take-Home

By the next year, I decided that my Bachelors degree was not filling my career cup and was not going to yield me a livable salary. In addition, I had a limited scope of practice within my career choice because I did not have a nursing degree. At a hospital, not being a nurse can definitely be limiting when you want to work closely taking care of patients.

So, from forbearance, I put my loans into deferment and went back for my Associates in nursing.  Deferment puts your payments on hold and your interest- in most circumstances.  This happens automatically when you re-enroll in school.

In 2004, I was finally done with my undergraduate degrees. Now, I had a Bachelors and an Associates degree and had never made a payment on either.  After the same period of time as after my Bachelors degree, my loans were finalized and my payment options needed to be chosen.

I could now start paying them off!

The Plan

I had a few options from which to choose to pay off my loans.  One was income based where I would pay a certain percentage based on my income.  This would pay down my debt faster.  Another option was a fixed payment schedule whereby the monthly payment would gradually increase as time went on.  This was a middle of the road option.  The last option I had was based on a low payment.  I could have low payments but extend the length of the loan.

I chose to make the smallest monthly payment so that I could pay off the loan but still have money to live.  I understood that this would increase the life of the loan and increase the payoff amount.  However, I went into it with the thought that if I had extra money, it would always go towards the loan.

Putting the Plan into Action

Overall, it took me 15 years to pay off my student loans.  According to the website, www.savingforcollege.com, my loan should have taken me about 25 years to repay. So, being 10 years early was a win for me.  By no means, was this an easy win.  There were sacrifices.

When my friends of the same age were graduating college at 22 and going out into the real world, I became a mother.  As those same friends were becoming moms, I was going back to finish my Bachelors and obtain my Associates.  When my friends paid off their student loans, I started my payment plan.  When my friends bought lake houses and went on trips, I paid cash for my Masters and still paid on my undergraduate student loans.

Yes, in my quest for a great career, I also decided to get my MBA.  As stated above, I paid cash for this degree.  While taking my online courses, my student loans were automatically put into deferment.  This allowed me to keep paying on them while interest did not accrue.

Over the years, I was certainly off schedule from everyone else and was never quite in the same season of life as my friends.  This is where I needed to see the forest through the trees.  I needed to continuously remind myself of my long term goals.  I wanted to have a great education, a great career, and no more student loans.

Stay tuned for Part III of My Student Loan Debt journey where I will share the real dollars…

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student loan debt

My Student Loan Debt: Part I

During Easter dinner, I had a great conversation with my nephew. He’s seventeen and discussions of college are fully underway. Part of these discussions revolve around student loans. Having just paid off my student loan debt, I had a lot of insights I wanted to share with him. Frankly, I didn’t want him to make the same mistakes I did and I wanted to give him the bigger picture of how student loan debt can play out once you are in the real world. I figured I would share these with you as well in hopes that it will help someone else.

Growing Up

In order to provide a little perspective, I will have to go way back. I came from a blue collar family where I was the youngest of four children. No one in my immediate family had ever gone to college or even taken college level courses. At the time, I was also not aware of many cousins, aunts or uncles going to college either. Perhaps only a handful? All of my older siblings went right out into the world to make their way. I, however, always new I wanted to go to college because everything I wanted to be when I grew up required a college degree.

Money was an interesting subject when I was growing up. Actually, it was a non-existent subject. Paychecks and bills were discussed behind the closed door of my parents’ bedroom. Bills were paid with cash or with cashier’s checks. When we went out to eat, the bill was discussed by my parents en français and the tip was as well. Savings, debt, credit scores and pensions were not discussed in front of the children- even the adult children. 401Ks were not even a thing back then.

The one thing I knew about money was that if I wanted to go to college, it was on me. Back then, there were no 529 accounts and certainly no secret stash of cash that would magically appear upon my graduation. Additionally, my parents would not provide me with their tax returns or their social security numbers for the FAFSA. My parents were of a different generation and I understood that completely. Even though I hate the saying: “It was what it was”. It really was and I accepted it.

My Early College Experience

I started off my college career at the local University where I completed a year and a half completely on scholarship. During my first try at college, I found myself confused as to what path I should be on in terms of career. Before wasting any more money, I withdrew. I got married, had my son and otherwise tried to figure out what I really wanted to do.

When my son was three, I felt the urge to go back to school and finally complete my degree. Assisting at a daycare and waitressing at a local Italian restaurant was hard work and yet I barely made the bills every month. I needed to go back to school and I felt driven like never before.

I applied and was accepted to a private University that came with a premium price. This was not the local University I had originally attended. That University was public and much more reasonably priced. Despite the premium price, this University was willing to give me lots of financial aid so that I could attend. They built this beautiful new Graduate building and my plan was to attend graduate school right after my bachelors. Since I already had a year and a half of credits, I graduated with my bachelors degree in only three years.

A month before graduation, the University closed the Graduate program they had just launched. My class was supposed to be the first Graduate class. I was devastated. We were given the option to attend a Graduate program as reciprocity in northern NH or in Boston. The University knew they had done us wrong and so they made arrangements for all of us to be accepted into either of the other Graduate programs. Since I had a family to care for, I accepted my Bachelors and entered the work force I put my student loan on forbearance.

To Be Continued…

***Since this is a pretty long post and I want to add a lot of detail, please check back for part two next week!

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Word of the year

My Word for the Year: Rebuild

I think everyone has heard of the Ali Edwards’ One Little Word project whereby you choose a word and embark on a crafty, self-discovery of oneself. Ali offers a class and some absolutely stunning products that can help you along your journey. Every month there are different prompts and activities to help guide you along the way. I have always been intrigued by this process but yet intimidated at the same time. So, this year, I decided to choose a word but not necessarily do “all the things”. This word is one by which I will approach life. It isn’t specific to one aspect of my life but yet it is the lens I will choose to look through for all aspects. That word is ‘Rebuild’.

Rebuild can mean so much to so many people. A quick Pinterest search will lead you to think that it is just about relationships or trust. Rebuild, however, is so much more to me.

In 2019, I plan to rebuild my career as 2018 really threw me off course. I had left a phenomenal job in 2016 for the hopes and promises that all came crashing down in 2018. That does something to a person. You start to doubt your intuition and doubt the path you chose. Rebuild is what I plan to do with my career and with the trust I have in my intuition. I know that I have a lot to offer and I just need to rebuild the parts of me that will help me get there.

I also plan to rebuild my circle of friends. Not going to a job five days a week, you spend a lot of time alone and start to be too comfortable alone. I need to get out there and open myself up to new opportunities. the more I stay inside my bubble, the more I will stay inside my bubble. I need to stretch myself and push outside of my comfort zone and reconnect with those around me and with those I have lost touch with.

  • Word of the year; A Working Mom's Guide
    Motif #1 in Rockport, MA – A special place to reflect while taking in the beautiful sights and salty air

Rebuild is also what I plan to do with how I approach fitness. I need to rebuild my strength and love of feeling my body move. Way back when, I danced from the age of 9 until 21. To this day, I still absolutely love to dance. I am thankful I don’t have close neighbors because my large windows make a great mirror when the right song comes on! At the age of 15, I joined a local Y and pumped iron. I spent many days actually having fun while working out. Back then, it was such an integral part of my life that it was something I just did. Every day. For the past few years – well maybe 20 – it has been thought of as somewhat of a chore. I don’t know how that mindset was changed or why. But I must rebuild my thought process around this.

I also want to rebuild my relationship with food. Food is a source of fuel for my body and should not in any way be a source of comfort. I am tired of the Yo-Yo-ing of my weight because I either cannot control my urge to eat everything in sight or I go the opposite and restrict so much that I say no to everything in sight. Neither of these extremes are healthy. I must be able to find a healthy balance using real food so that it is sustainable and realistic.

Word of the Year; Rebuild; A Working Mom's Guide
Is anything more calming than the ocean to help bring clarity?

Working on all of the above, will help me rebuild my confidence in myself and what I stand for as a person. It will help me repair the trust I have with my intuition and strengthen my resolve to be better, look better, and feel better.

What word will you choose for the New Year?

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Summer of Change

Typical Summers

I have been working since I was 15 y.o. with nothing more than a few weeks of vacation every year as a break.  The only extended chunk of time I ever had off was when I took the typical 6 or so weeks of maternity leave after having each of my kids.  Even then, especially as I grew in my career, there was still never a true feeling of ‘off time’ from work.   There was always some project or some deadline to think about.  Having a whole Summer off (and truly disconnect) is something I had often dreamed about but never thought possible.   Summers usually consisted of me or my husband driving our daughter to Summer day-camp, then going on about our daily grind: work.  There was no difference in our day to day between the seasons.  It was all the same: work.  I actually dreaded summers because it meant having to get up even earlier in order to bring my daughter to day-camp and have enough time to get to work on time.

This Summer, however,  was different.  Really different.

Summer of Change

You see, I have recently been through a significant life change.  For the first time in my life, I am not working.  Yes, my blog is entitled “a Working Mom’s Guide” but this is just a temporary season in my life- like Summer.  While I admit that the circumstance around me not having gainful employment is something that left me with constant self deprecating recordings that play over and over in my head, there was one bright light.  It gave me the opportunity to re-evaluate where my passion lies.  In addition, it has given me something more than any job could provide: endless time to devote to my family and a Summer of memory making that I and my daughter will forever remember.

We started the summer off on a softball high where my daughter and her U10 teammates celebrated a Division Championship.  Quickly, we transitioned into a softball summer camp.  It was four hours every day for 2 weeks and I was actually able to drive her to and from without having to rely on anyone else.  I was even able to watch and cheer her on from the stands during the exhibition part of the week.  Being so used to planning ten steps ahead or thinking about all the work that is due, this camp was the first time I came to the realization that I didn’t need to do any of that.  I actually got to live in that moment.

Fun Excursions

It’s not to say I wasn’t looking for work, I certainly was!  But when I wasn’t, I was planning for or on an excursion!  We went to the beach countless of times – I always had a beach bag packed and ready to go!  Living within a half hour from the ocean, it is a quick car ride to catch some waves and rays.  The summer before, I was only able to get to the beach once- maybe twice- so we certainly made up for it this year.

I was able to re-connect with an old friend.  This was something that I hadn’t been able to do or I just never made it a priority.  We went on a mountain excursion to see some beautiful falls and natural swimming holes.  The water was cool and crisp and the memories warm and amazing.

Ella and I then practiced a mother / daughter ‘camp out’ in our backyard.  We wanted to make sure we could set up our site on our own while in the comfort of our own yard.  It was a success! We then went on a 3 day camping trip with the aforementioned friend and her grandsons.  Can you say girlpower?   My daughter learned to pitch a tent, start a fire, and not rely on technology.  It was the best three days!

We traveled by train to Portland, Maine where we explored all the city had to offer.  In the past, I have always driven there by car so it was a super cool experience to travel by train.

We visited The Mystic Aquarium and the Mystic shops.  In addition, we were even able to explore downtown Mystic and see the drawbridge open!

We visited a local science center and learned about some of the amazing animals we have in our state.   Mini-golf was on the list as was being able to participate in 7-Eleven’s free slushy day!  I took her and her friends to the movies, out to lunch, to arcades, and they had several sleepovers! My daughter also had a few day trips with her friend’s families and left me to my own devices.  I took myself to a Sunflower festival and basked in their beauty.

Looking Back

As I reflect on the summer, it was all about reconnecting and grounding myself.  It is about realizing what is important and what deserves my time and attention.  It is about loyalty and realizing that friends and family deserve my loyalty over a place of employment.  I have realized this summer that  wherever my search takes me, I will be looking for that career to fit into my family and life.  I will not adjust my family and life for a career.

If I could give this summer a hashtag, it would truly be #bestsummerever!

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Lessons from the Softball Field

It’s been a few years but I am finally back to sitting on the sidelines watching my daughter play sports. Between my work, my school, my husband’s work and my daughter’s broken leg, we really haven’t been able to devote much time to sports. Now that our schedules are lighter and my daughter’s leg is completely healed, she is back out on the field.

I must say I missed seeing her have fun and learn how to work as part of a team. In addition, participating in sports allows my daughter to understand the importance of time management.  This is especially true in figuring out how to balance homework, practices and games!  She has also extended her circle of friends since she was able to play on an older team.  This is due to her date of birth relative to the cut-off for the specific age brackets. Not to mention, the exercise is good for her too!  Talk about the amount of transferable life lessons.

As I sit on the sidelines, I can truly say I am in awe. My daughter had not played in years and yet she put herself out there.  Softball was something she has always wanted to play and to start on an older team is tough.  She doesn’t remember much from her earlier team-sport experiences.  Plus, it was t-ball and nobody won or lost.  The age bracket she is currently on is child pitched and scores are kept.  Some of these kids have one heck of a pitch too!  But despite the newness of all of this, she shows up and she tries hard to learn what she can from the coaches and the other players.

After most games, the teams have a relay race around the bases.  It is a great way to end the game with everyone rooting each other on and getting out any remaining energy.  One day I sat there and cheered my daughter around the bases, I could see she was running her heart out.  She was towards the end of the lineup and her team had a slight lead over the visiting team.  As she rounded third heading home to tag the next runner, it happened.  In the blink of an eye, my daughter went from full sprint to a dead stop.  Her cleat got caught in a rut and she went down hard.  Face first with barely enough time to put up her hands.  The crowd went from loudly cheering to dead silence.  It was that kind of fall.

I fully expected her to lay on the ground crying and for her team to ultimately lose the relay.  But that is not at all what happened.  Instead, my daughter got right up and finished her leg of the relay.  At that point, you could tell she was holding back the tears and biting her bottom lip as the coach was assessing her for any injuries.   She ultimately did cry after all was said and done.  Despite the pain and some minor scrapes, there were no serious injuries from the fall.   Her team won the game that day but also the relay race.


How many times has this happened to you?  Not literally falling flat on your face, but figuratively.  Honestly there is such a profound lesson in this.  My daughter knew that she had people depending on her and that she needed to do her part and finish.  Despite the pain, she pushed through for her team when it would have been much easier just to stay down and cry.

Sometimes in family or work it is not about us.  Despite everything else, we must push through the pain, heart ache, difficulties and get to the finish line.  Whatever that may be- this is different for everyone.  Knowing that someone is depending on us, gives us a greater meaning and added responsibility.  This could be a child, a parent, a co-worker, a boss, a customer, etc.  I may pause to shed a tear or to eat a pint of ice cream but ultimately, I know that I too must push through because people are depending on me.  Whether we stumble with our children or loved ones or in our career, pushing through some of the difficult stuff will always make us a better person on the other end.

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