When I entered the workforce after receiving my Bachelor’ degree, my student loans were on a hiatus as I waited for them to be dispersed. Meaning, the final dollar value owed is calculated. Additionally, there is a small waiting period upon graduation. Here, the loan companies graciously allow you to find employment to pay for the loans as they finalize your payment options.
I was only able to get a part time position for the first few months. So once the payments were due, I had to put them in forbearance. This is where you basically tell the loan company that you do not have enough money to pay. The interest, however, still accrues. But with a part-time job, I just didn’t have the money to pay.
When my position was finally changed to a full time position, I thought that I could finally start paying down this debt. I soon realized that my base pay was not much more than I made as a waitress. Then, after taxes and such, it was even less. There was definite disparity between my wage and the cost of my education.
The Plan to Increase My Take-Home
By the next year, I decided that my Bachelors degree was not filling my career cup and was not going to yield me a livable salary. In addition, I had a limited scope of practice within my career choice because I did not have a nursing degree. At a hospital, not being a nurse can definitely be limiting when you want to work closely taking care of patients.
So, from forbearance, I put my loans into deferment and went back for my Associates in nursing. Deferment puts your payments on hold and your interest- in most circumstances. This happens automatically when you re-enroll in school.
In 2004, I was finally done with my undergraduate degrees. Now, I had a Bachelors and an Associates degree and had never made a payment on either. After the same period of time as after my Bachelors degree, my loans were finalized and my payment options needed to be chosen.
I could now start paying them off!
The Plan
I had a few options from which to choose to pay off my loans. One was income based where I would pay a certain percentage based on my income. This would pay down my debt faster. Another option was a fixed payment schedule whereby the monthly payment would gradually increase as time went on. This was a middle of the road option. The last option I had was based on a low payment. I could have low payments but extend the length of the loan.
I chose to make the smallest monthly payment so that I could pay off the loan but still have money to live. I understood that this would increase the life of the loan and increase the payoff amount. However, I went into it with the thought that if I had extra money, it would always go towards the loan.
Putting the Plan into Action
Overall, it took me 15 years to pay off my student loans. According to the website, www.savingforcollege.com, my loan should have taken me about 25 years to repay. So, being 10 years early was a win for me. By no means, was this an easy win. There were sacrifices.
When my friends of the same age were graduating college at 22 and going out into the real world, I became a mother. As those same friends were becoming moms, I was going back to finish my Bachelors and obtain my Associates. When my friends paid off their student loans, I started my payment plan. When my friends bought lake houses and went on trips, I paid cash for my Masters and still paid on my undergraduate student loans.
Yes, in my quest for a great career, I also decided to get my MBA. As stated above, I paid cash for this degree. While taking my online courses, my student loans were automatically put into deferment. This allowed me to keep paying on them while interest did not accrue.
Over the years, I was certainly off schedule from everyone else and was never quite in the same season of life as my friends. This is where I needed to see the forest through the trees. I needed to continuously remind myself of my long term goals. I wanted to have a great education, a great career, and no more student loans.
Stay tuned for Part III of My Student Loan Debt journey where I will share the real dollars…
During Easter dinner, I had a great conversation with my nephew. He’s seventeen and discussions of college are fully underway. Part of these discussions revolve around student loans. Having just paid off my student loan debt, I had a lot of insights I wanted to share with him. Frankly, I didn’t want him to make the same mistakes I did and I wanted to give him the bigger picture of how student loan debt can play out once you are in the real world. I figured I would share these with you as well in hopes that it will help someone else.
Growing Up
In order to provide a little perspective, I will have to go way back. I came from a blue collar family where I was the youngest of four children. No one in my immediate family had ever gone to college or even taken college level courses. At the time, I was also not aware of many cousins, aunts or uncles going to college either. Perhaps only a handful? All of my older siblings went right out into the world to make their way. I, however, always new I wanted to go to college because everything I wanted to be when I grew up required a college degree.
Money was an interesting subject when I was growing up. Actually, it was a non-existent subject. Paychecks and bills were discussed behind the closed door of my parents’ bedroom. Bills were paid with cash or with cashier’s checks. When we went out to eat, the bill was discussed by my parents en français and the tip was as well. Savings, debt, credit scores and pensions were not discussed in front of the children- even the adult children. 401Ks were not even a thing back then.
The one thing I knew about money was that if I wanted to go to college, it was on me. Back then, there were no 529 accounts and certainly no secret stash of cash that would magically appear upon my graduation. Additionally, my parents would not provide me with their tax returns or their social security numbers for the FAFSA. My parents were of a different generation and I understood that completely. Even though I hate the saying: “It was what it was”. It really was and I accepted it.
My Early College Experience
I started off my college career at the local University where I completed a year and a half completely on scholarship. During my first try at college, I found myself confused as to what path I should be on in terms of career. Before wasting any more money, I withdrew. I got married, had my son and otherwise tried to figure out what I really wanted to do.
When my son was three, I felt the urge to go back to school and finally complete my degree. Assisting at a daycare and waitressing at a local Italian restaurant was hard work and yet I barely made the bills every month. I needed to go back to school and I felt driven like never before.
I applied and was accepted to a private University that came with a premium price. This was not the local University I had originally attended. That University was public and much more reasonably priced. Despite the premium price, this University was willing to give me lots of financial aid so that I could attend. They built this beautiful new Graduate building and my plan was to attend graduate school right after my bachelors. Since I already had a year and a half of credits, I graduated with my bachelors degree in only three years.
A month before graduation, the University closed the Graduate program they had just launched. My class was supposed to be the first Graduate class. I was devastated. We were given the option to attend a Graduate program as reciprocity in northern NH or in Boston. The University knew they had done us wrong and so they made arrangements for all of us to be accepted into either of the other Graduate programs. Since I had a family to care for, I accepted my Bachelors and entered the work force I put my student loan on forbearance.
To Be Continued…
***Since this is a pretty long post and I want to add a lot of detail, please check back for part two next week!
One thing I have learned over the years: there are two extremes. You can be on Team “Valentine” or on Team “It’s a Hallmark Holiday” and anywhere in between. I happen float in between these two extremes depending on my season of life. There have been times where I can do all the things like plan a romantic dinner or buy special gifts. Then there are other times where the only celebration was me buying small Valentine cards for my kids’ classroom. If I was lucky to remember!
Historical Significance
Valentine’s Day is rooted in both Christian and Roman historical significance. The Catholic Church alone has three separate and distinct Saint Valentines and each has their own religious significance. There is also some discussion about Valentine’s Day having its roots in the pagan celebration of Lupercalia. This is a day dedicated to a fertility festival dedicated to a Roman god, Faunus.
While the exchange of hand made valentines may have started as far back as the Middle Ages, Americans did not jump on this band wagon until the early 1700s. Ester Howland, aka Mother of the Valentine, started selling the first mass-produced valentine’s greeting. Today, it is estimated that Americans send over 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards! You can read more about the historical and religious origins of Valentine’s Day here.
Valentine Decor
As February begins, I come to the realization that its about time I put up a few Valentine’s decorations. When I say a few, I mean a few. With the exception of Christmas and Halloween, I like to keep any seasonal or holiday decor to a minimum. First, it’s great for my wallet. Second, who has time for intense decorating? Third, I don’t think anyone in my family would notice the decor one way or another. It adds a pop of color and it’s a temporary change from the usual decor.
I have a bundle of fake roses that sit inside a cute metal pot. I have a free printable I found online a few years ago and I have some hand towels that were an impulse buy on a shopping trip to one of those home stores. The decor I love the most is a hand made wall decor piece that spells out the word ‘Love’ of course!
Beyond the Decor and the Cards
To me, the quintessential importance of Valentine’s Day is not about the decor or the cards. It is not about the heart shaped boxes of chocolates or the fuzzy stuffed animals. Nope. Not at all. It’s about taking the time to tell those around us how much they mean to us.
How can you do this? Simple. Spend nothing but time and attention. I remember one year, I went all out. I ordered fancy chocolate covered strawberries for each of my siblings, my parents, and my own family. Admittedly, it cost a pretty penny. When they came in, they were a big disappointment. I should have guessed that ordering these during such a busy season would not be a good idea. The strawberries were well passed their prime and it showed.
The next year, my daughter asked to make the same chocolate covered strawberries at home. That’s when it hit me. Its not about the items, cards and heart shaped stuff. It’s about taking time out of your day to tell your loved ones that they are just that. Loved.
This year, I encourage you to give it a try. Tell your family how much you love and appreciate them. Tell them why. Spend time with them doing things that are fun and making memories. These are the things that will last forever. This is my case for Valentine’s Day….
I want to preface this blog by stating that I am not a Doctor. I am, however, a nurse and in this post, I am speaking solely on my personal experience.
My Skin’s Younger Years
As a teenager, I really never had an issue with acne. Every now and again, I would get a blemish or two during that time of the month. It would heal within a few days and I would go on with my life. I always felt bad for my friends who battled heavy acne and were left scarred. Both literally and figuratively.
During my teenage years, I really never got into makeup. There was no Instagram, Facebook or even Internet! For me, makeup was for special occasions and not for every day use. When I became a young mom, I did not have a lot of extra time – or money – to put into makeup. Additionally, my career path at that time was not existent. I had jobs. There was no need to look made up on the regular.
My Skin’s Mature Years
Fast forward thirty years as I progressed through my degrees and subsequent career, the need to maintain my professional demeanor and appearance grew. But then it happened. My face became a war zone. I was engaged in the battle for clear skin. There I was an adult woman with a professional career but with a face filled with painful bumps and dark red spots. It was debilitating. It was embarrassing. I felt helpless that my skin turned on me and there was nothing I could do.
My Symptoms
My symptoms came on suddenly. It was as if a switch was flipped within my body and my face paid the price. I would go to work in the AM with a clear face and within a few hours, I would feel pain. Sometimes it would throb. Sometimes the pain was upon touch. This pain was unlike any other pain I had ever experienced. It was deep. Like up against the bone deep. Many times it would also itch. Painful itches.
I tried so hard not to touch the bumps but often it was incidental. For example, answering the phone or even eating or talking would activate the pain sensors. The cysts would come on so fast- within hours. The worst thing about them is that they would stay for weeks and months at a time. To the left is an awful, candid profile picture where you can see the acne. It was hard to even find this picture because I realized that I stopped taking pictures of myself.
I found it quite difficult to concentrate at work. If I was meeting a vendor or presenting to an audience, all I could think of was how bad my face my looked. I felt the pain with each syllable. I grew very self-conscious. Then I started to keep makeup with me at all times in an attempt to cover it up.
What is Cystic Acne?
According to the American Academy of Dermatology (the AAD), a growing number of women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s are suffering from this form of adult acne. Much of the research points to increased stress, family history, products used in makeup and skin care, medication side effects and fluctuation of hormones due to menopause or polycystic ovarian syndrome.
All forms of acne are some type of inflammation. Pores become blocked by oil, dirt, or even dead skin cells. This causes the typical, raised bump of a acne. There maybe some small infection involved when the head of the blemish develops into a whitehead or a visible pocket of pus. These may be uncomfortable and can be handled with topical treatments in most cases.
What sets cystic acne apart from regular acne is the depth at which the inflammation occurs in addition to the breadth of the infection. This is why it hurts so much. Think of it like a volcano – it may be small at the surface of the earth yet may have deep penetrating pockets of lava far below the earth’s crust. This is similar to cystic acne.
Additionally, cystic acne may never come to a head. This is because the infection pocket is so very deep. Instead, assuming you do not touch it, what you get is a very slow healing lesion. The top layer of the skin remains intact but you can visibly see the blood tinged pus as it starts drying out. This can take weeks to months to heal.
My Journey
Honestly my journey was a lot longer than what it should’ve been. I’m a nurse so I should know better than to put off healthcare.
One thing I have noticed about nurses (and perhaps moms) is that we put ourselves last. In the medical world, it’s a proverbial joke about nurses having many UTIs (urinary tract infections) because they must “hold their pee” since they’re too busy taking care of patients who may have UTIs. Always taking care of the needs of others.
When this first started occurring, I thought these were just really large blemishes and that they would go away on their own. Instead, they lingered and lingered. It would take months for these to heal and new ones kept forming. It didn’t matter the time of the month- every phase of my cycle was fair game.
I never had any experience with this type of acne so initially I was dumbfounded. I researched and researched and finally came upon the answer. During this time, I tried a lot of products. I even became a Sephora VIB Rouge member!
This list of things I tried included three types sulfur based over the counter medications, coconut oil, tea tree extract, salicylic acid based medication, benzoyl peroxide based medications, and a various amount of face washes and masks. Not to mention the makeup to cover it all up.
The list of things I tried was exhaustive and expensive! Finally, I gave in. There was absolutely nothing over the counter that would touch my face. Coming to the realization that I needed something to attack the acne at its deepest level, I called and got an appointment with a dermatologist.
The Dermatologist and Treatment Protocol
Getting an appointment with the dermatologist took a while. All in all about 2 months from calling to the actual appointment. It was worth the wait- albeit I should have done it sooner. After my initial examination, we decided to move forward with an oral antibiotic and a topical cream consisting of a combination of a retinoid and benzoyl peroxide.
The decision to start a potentially lengthy treatment of oral antibiotics was not an easy one. According to the CDC, at least 2 million people are infected with antibiotic resistant bacteria. Of these affected people, over 23,000 died as a direct result. Largely these resistant strains are the fallout from years of the over-utilization of antibiotics.
When it comes to antibiotics, it is usually best practice to start with a broad spectrum and hope that it is able to take care of the infection. the term broad spectrum just merely means that it is effective against a large variety of organisms. Only if these do not work or are not warranted for a specific organism, do you then move on to more advanced antibiotics.
The doctor started me on tetracycline. Not only does this medication have an antibiotic property but also it also has some anti inflammatory properties as well. This is a bonus when treating cystic acne. We began with a 3 month plan of this medication. But this didn’t last.
One of the side effects of tetracycline is dizziness. Boy did it hit me hard. I am not usually one to have a lot of side effects from medications so I really thought this would be an easy thing for me to take. The first day I took the medication, I felt like I was drunk. You know the type of drunk when you close your eyes, the world is spinning so fast you may puke? Yep. That kind of feeling. It was awful.
The dermatologist quickly changed my medication to minocycline which is a very close cousin to tetracycline. However, because of the slight chemical variation in its makeup, I was able to tolerate this antibiotic after a few days.
We coupled this antibiotic with a topical cream called Epiduo. It contains Adapalene which is very much like Vitamin A in that it helps skin renew itself quickly. Therefore, those red marks would disappear quicker. The other ingredient is benzoyl peroxide which has an antibacterial property to help keep the skin free of bacteria.
The Light at the End of the Tunnel
During this time, I stopped all other over the counter treatments. I continued to wash my face with a gentle cleanser and follow up with a mild moisturizer (both cetaphil). Treatment continued for 9 months. My doctor really wanted me to stop after 6 months but I was having such good results, I begged for an extension.
Within the first month, the cysts were becoming fewer and fewer. The topical cream was helping to eradicate the red blotches and promote healing. Things were finally looking up!
This all took place about 5 years ago and I have been cystic acne free since. I get an occasional blemish every now and again due to my cycle and hormone fluctuations but these are usually small and heal easily.
The one residual effect on my face is that I have some areas of hypopigmentation where I was scarred from the cysts. Most times, my makeup hides the discoloration but in the summer it gets a little tricky if I am in the sun. These areas of my face do not tan at all.
These spots are the last reminders of what I went through. I am so glad it was just a season of my life. The most important take-away that I would like to impart is to make that appointment with the doctor sooner rather than later. Don’t tough it out and ignore your body. Don’t waste time and money trying all of the latest and greatest. Give yourself permission to put you first and take care of you. It is OK and necessary to do this!
Over the last few years, I have used a variety of planners and I am sure that I am not alone in this endeavor! We all hear the phrase ‘planner peace’ and debate about whether or not it really exists- right? I would like to not think so. I know that last statement sounds crazy but I love to try different systems and planners to help keep me organized. Also, I want there to be many options to match the different seasons of my life. So, this year, I am using a DIY planner.
In 2018, I used a combination of 2 different Erin Condren planners. First, I used the LifePlanner and then I tried out the hardbound LifePlanner. The issue I ran into with both of these is that they do not fit into my everyday bag. The coiled planner is short and squat while the hardbound is large and rigid. Additionally, I write a lot of lists and there just isn’t enough room in either planner to do this. Subsequently, I would also carry a small notebook.
What ‘DIY’ Planner am I using?
What I decided to try this year, is to use my favorite notebook and turn that into a DIY planner. My favorite notebook is the Markings Leatherette by C.R. Gibson. It is not too big, not too small. Its creamy pages are a joy to write on and it has a good ‘hand feel’ (if that makes any sense).
My ‘DIY’ Planner Set Up
I started by adding an index at the front of the leatherette followed by a 2019 year overview. I then added a tracker page and a key page to note the various meanings behind the colors I plan to use throughout the planner. Once that was in place, I added a monthly view on 2 pages for each of the 12 months. I wanted to group all of the months together because sometimes I need a lot of note pages and sometimes I don’t need any. It all depends on the season of my life I am in at the moment. Having the notes follow the calendars, allow me this flexibility.
My notes will be very free form. This is how I want it. I may include meal plans or shopping lists. I may have a list of ‘must haves’ or house projects I am working on. Each month may have 1 page of notes, 20 pages of notes or none at all. The point of this is that I want to be able to have it with me at all times without needing to upsize my bag or struggle to carry a second bag.
At the end of the notebook, I also started a few long term lists. These I will start at the last page and work backwards. I consider these more of year long lists. Here, I want to include quotes to remember, books I have read or want to read, and also places I want to go.
Why not Bullet Journaling?
You may be thinking this sounds an awful lot like bullet journaling. Yes, in a way. However, even that seems too structured. I tried it before and the series of symbols confuses me. I cannot draw or letter to save my life. As a matter of fact, my handwriting looks like that of a 3 year old! I end up feeling highly inadequate because I cannot draw cutsie tacos on Taco Tuesday! Also, the way a BUJO repeats the same format month after month, defeats the purpose of my flexible set up. I am trying to go for extreme flexibility and I do not want to deal with all the pomp and circumstance of a BUJO. Please don’t hate on me but I seriously do not need to track my mood every waking minute or track my location every time I pick up a penny!
So far, this set up is working for me. Albeit, it has only been eight days but it is functioning in just the capacity I need it to. What planner are you using for 2019? I would love to hear below!
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